The Art of Being Rude….
My biggest pet peeve in life is rude people. I honestly see no purpose in being rude. It serves no one, not even yourself. This is very evident in the service industry (which, in reality, incorporates almost every business that deals directly with people). Every day I go somewhere and am forced to deal with a rude person. Perhaps it is someone who cuts you off in line at the store, or the person serving you coffee. Either way, my life is inundated with rude people. My plan of attack in dealing with rude people is one of two things; be rude back or be sarcastically sweet. I determine which method I use by the feeling I get about the person. I use to accept rudeness, but with age comes the confidence to speak up.
Here is the reality. I do not care if you are having a bad minute, hour, day, or life. You have NO excuse for being rude. I do not cause your problems, so therefore you should not be taking your frustrations out on me. In the case of service industry folk, it is not my problem that you hate your job. Yes, the economy sucks and maybe you made $60k a year and now work at Walmart – but you are working and that is what matters. Perhaps you think your job is beneath you, superiority will get you no where. Maybe you are just miserable with having to work 40 hours a week, year after a year, at a low paying job. Again, not my problem. I will not pity you. No matter what job you are doing in life, you should do it well. That means being courteous to others that need your help or rely on you for whatever item(s) they may need.
I could not EVER imagine working where I did and being rude to anyone. I quoted new products, and I was in constant contact with customers and/or potential customers. I had a lot of pressure to get quotes done quickly, resolve tooling issues, etc… Not ONCE would I even think to be rude. I had automotive big wigs calling and demanding quotes 30 minutes after sending me a blueprint, if I was rude I was jobless.
I think what was the final straw in my avoidance of the rudeness issue occurred at work (my previous life’s job, not the current one). We had, by far, the biggest bitch of a receptionist ever. She was a jaded and miserable person, much like myself. However, I would never think to say the things she did. If a salesperson showed up, she would be aggravated that they were asking to see someone. If the phone rang and she was busy, she answered it rudely. She honestly struck fear in the hearts of most of her coworkers, even the company president. No one wanted to ask her for office supplies, to fax something, to call someone, or essentially do any aspect of her job. I remember one day I was asked by my boss (the president) to have the receptionist order some supplies. I went downstairs and gave her a list and asked if she could order these items. She proceeded to get mad at me, as if it was an inconvenience to do her job. I looked at her point blank and stated “Do not get upset with me, I was asked by [the president] to have these supplies ordered.” I turned around and walked away. I then discussed my problem with one of our full-time consultants. I explained to him that I could no longer deal with the way she treated me, or others. He decided to have a discussion with her. Well, she did not speak to me for weeks after that. If I received a phone call and was out on the shop floor, she would page me using a very unmistakably snotty tone. Everyone in the shop would just look at me with a “What the fuck?” face. There was one time that payroll was messed up, and the employees did not receive one day of holiday pay. She was so upset that when the employees came to get their paychecks from her, she stated “Bend over, because you are getting fucked by the company once again.” The point is, the day that was missing came in the next paycheck. It was not like the company said “Ooops, we forgot to pay you, too bad.” Shortly after these events, while she was on vacation, her stuff was packed up and she was fired.
Though you may wish this was the end of my flashbacks, it is not. Our customer service rep was so rude to one of our largest customers (Cybex – very expensive gym equipment manufacturers), that they specifically requested I handle their account. This customer service rep would often argue with people, just for the sake of arguing. It did not matter that she was wrong, and knew she was wrong, it was always someone else’s problem or fault.
Perhaps I am too polite. But I feel that unless someone gives me reason to be otherwise, being polite is a good policy. I am a very grumpy, moody, miserable person. Yet, it is not one of my rights to make others as miserable as I am. As I always say, live life as you want without impeding on how others live theirs. By being rude for no reason, you are impeding on other people’s lives. They do not need the aggravation of rudeness. And trust me, it is an aggravation. You could be in a perfectly good mood, and one rude person can ruin your day.
So in closing, remember that you share this world with others. You need to be respectful of them, as long as they are respectful to you. Causing someone unnecessary frustration is selfish act. It takes more energy to be rude, than to be polite. In fact, being polite might make you feel a little better because the response you get back from others will be positive rather than negative.
